The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
