i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
