somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
