I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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