Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
