i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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