Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
