I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
