Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
