No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
