wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
