Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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