cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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