We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
