He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
