you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Less talking, more tequila
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
