Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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