a queef is a wish your heart makes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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