Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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