Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he shaved USA in his pubs
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
