Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
