You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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