Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
