I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
