I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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