I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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