i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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