and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Let's get the cat blown out
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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