Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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