I must be too annoying 4 u.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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