Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
