JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
