You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
