i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
