two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
