First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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