Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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