sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
