i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
