Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
