is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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