If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
