oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
