The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
