You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
