So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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