I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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