chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm getting married
To pizza
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
