It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
