I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
