we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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