I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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