Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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