He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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