For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
