OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
